Long story short I found out my boyfriend has some fleshlights. I haven't told him I know yet and it really bothers me that he uses sex toys. I know I'm being a big hypocrite since I have a couple vibrators and dildos. I'm not ready to have sex yet and he's been understanding with that. I know I should be understanding that he's using them to simply take care of himself but it still bothers me. Any advice on what I could do to be more accepting of this situation?
I would talk to him about why he owns sex toys and when he uses them. Come to some understanding about both of your sex toys that makes both of you comfortable about them. If you don’t talk to him, you will start to resent him and be angry about it, so work it out between the two of you. It may be that he owns them from before your relationship, and hasn’t used them since, or he may use them when he wants sex but you don’t (which is 100% normal in relationships… people have different sex drives!). Just talk to him and I’m sure you will both feel better about it. I doubt he wants to hide them from you.
Any feedback? Have you had to deal with a similar situation? How did you deal with it?
“I love a man who isn’t intimidated by sex toys. If you know your girl has some, ask her to bring them out and let you be the one to pleasure her with them. For me, since I usually use my vibrator alone and on myself, it feels like I’m letting a guy in on naughty little secret when I let him be the one to tease me with it. And of course, nothing actually feels better than the last minute of substituting the toy for the real thing.” —Adri, 24
“I know it may sound strange, but watching my boyfriend get himself off is such a turn on. I’ll start by laying down naked next him, my body against his, and play with his member until he gets hard. Then I put his hand down there and just rub my body against him and watch. I think it makes me so hot ‘cause it’s kind of taboo, something he would do in private, but I also like actually seeing how much I turn him on.” —Leslie, 25